you already knew this

Feels like I've been trying to fit myself into a box someone else drew. Talking to a friend tonight, I realized that I've lost myself somewhere along the way. I used to loudly proclaim my awesomeness. I can't remember the last time I did that.
Spent half my life squeezing myself into other peoples' needs and the other half trying to mold them to mine. It just doesn't work that way.
Another friend said that I depend too much on the way other people view me. It's true. I need more self-reliance in that way. Also true.
I'm getting older. It's time to quit with the bullshit. I've been feeling sorry for myself. It isn't working. I've been sick, and I'm getting better, and I want to just be content in that.
This life in Providence is starting to feel like the fake world and the farm in Florida is starting to feel like the real one. In reality both are true. There is no fake. It is all living.