My roommate brought home a copy of the New York Times magazine. The cover story was about anxiety, which I am quite interested in, being an anxious person myself.
Paraphrased, the article discusses the link between nature and nurture when it comes to anxiety. The implication is that there is a genetic predisposition to anxiety which can either be brought out or repressed by environmental factors. Biologically there is some sense in having some members of the population anxious: it increases their awareness of possible threats. It ensures that tasks are carried out.
The greater the intelligence of someone with anxiety, the more likely they are to use positive coping mechanisms. This includes getting to places early, finishing projects early, and being certain to follow instructions.
This knowledge helps me to make sense of questions I've had about myself. If I'm so anti-authoritarian, why do I follow rules so stringently? Why is it important to me for people to accept me though I simultaneously wish to be apart from them? Why am I so weird about looking over instructions again and again?
There are so many things in my life gifted to me by anxiety. So much of my personality and traits revolve around it. My life has been modified to adapt to anxiety.
I don't know where I'm going with this. I don't know who I would be without my anxiety and all the little mechanisms I've created to deal.
I think what I wanted to express is the relief that I'm not alone in this. That and the more I learn about my anxiety and depression, the easier I find it to deal. Knowledge can save me, right?
And if it can't do that, it can at least make things a little easier by helping me to make sense of them.
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