I still feel strands connecting me to them
the filaments fine but hard to snap
the dreams that flood into me hurt
whether it's from reconciliation
or rememberance
I feel the fine details
and tears I've kept inside
fall

And I want to know,
am I a persone who is thought of,
am I someone to regret,
or is the memory something tight to hold
and think of with longing?
am I a dream too?

I get silence in replies
I feel it in my heart
and I know it's deserved

I'm too afraid to say
I miss you
from across the years

Oh please, let me feel this
don't store it away for another 10 years
someday these knots will be untangled
I pick at them daily,
watch my fingertips redden
taking deep breaths to calm down
how badly I hope I've changed
how scared I am that I haven't.