I feel like I've lost an important part of myself. maybe many important pieces. there were once so many things that mattered to me, that I have let fall away because of convenience. in many ways, I've become a person I once would have looked down on. I don't live up to my ideals anymore. I am often afraid and don't leave the house. I have little space in my community. I've been kicked out again.
I am letting myself drift to the center, while detritus circles me. I can't reach any of it, arms outstretched regardless. there are small fragments I can almost touch, ghostly sensations to my fingertips, slowly curling back into fists. I have tried this how many times now? someday I'll recognize that there is no place for me.
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