oh, seven months, right? he broke up with me almost seven months ago. it's been almost a year since our first date. our first date. that wonderful date. dressed as zombies, valentine's day, wandering around and shivering in the cold. I held his hands and asked if he believed in energy. in a person's energy. I tried to help him feel it but he couldn't. maybe I should have guessed then that he was empty, but I had high hopes. I thought I could help him understand.
I thought there was more there than there really was.
his smile. beguiled.
I took a chance even trying.
and I kept taking chances.
but the thing about trying is that sometimes you fail.
I have been through this over and over. I have done this before. but never to this extent. never like this. but I guess no two people are the same so no two relationships can be the same.
I remember going crazy over people before. I didn't go crazy over shiny. I just got sad, so sad, and it won't go away.
I miss the summer.
pivotal. that's what that time was.
pivotal.
it seems ridiculous to me that someone I was with for such a short period of time should have such an impact. it seems ridiculous to me that I should count him among those that I have truly loved.
it seems ridiculous that I still hope I'll hear from him and that he'll want to try again.
more than ridiculous.
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