feel my
heart beat
like a panic attack slowly sneaking up on me.
taste this staleness in my mouth. a hunger I won't feed.
and in my head, your memory ricochets. it bruises my brain and makes my head ache. it won't slow down. it just goes until it breaks.
or until I can numb the pain with someone else.
you don't call or write. you left me. you left me so completely and I let you leave this time. I let you stay gone. no matter how I seemed to run the show, it was always you making all the choices. lowest common denominator. you were the one with the power.
I was just fooling myself. you let me make the decisions about what we did, but you always decided where the relationship was going.
apparently, no where.
I cannot contain this bitterness.
I cannot forget your face.
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