the sky is falling

"end love" by okgo is my latest obsession. the lyrics speak too perfectly for me to ignore. it's all so relevant. shiny's not calling and he hasn't replied to my email (you know ... the one where I called him a failure. I wasn't expecting a reply, but I still hoped) but I still posted the song to his facebook, along with the lyrics.
I don't think I have anything else to say to him. I don't miss him like I used to. all I want to do all the time is tell him how much he's hurt me and how sad I am.
because the way he treated me wasn't fair. how he extended his hand to me at the stop lights, like I used to do to him when we were together? the way he held me and how he bought me ice cream? why did he cuddle up to me if all we are is friends? I don't treat my friends like that. I don't think he does either.
I want to smash his head against a brick wall until he breaks and sees what it is that he was doing. until his own wall breaks and he finally understands.
until he actually feels, you know?
until he knows what it is to want. he wants to want. and I want to make him. I want him to want me to stop hurting. and I want him to do something about it.
and I don't think he will.
and I don't think there's much left to say.