don't know

cried in the kitchen, my hand-knit blanket pulled around my shoulders. leaned back in my chair against the wall and sobbed. and I missed my mom. and I missed shiny. and I missed so many other people, but mostly my mom.
I don't want to be alone anymore and I don't want to be scared. I don't want to fear the touch of strangers in a crowd or wonder what they think of me. so many things that I do not want. so many things that I want that I do not have.
like people and hope and the desire to live. like love and affection from someone that stays. someone that's utterly honest with their own self and with me.