grip you in my tight fist. squeeze through my fingers like mud. I will collect you again, and re-shape you, and make you mine to grasp.
you don't escape. I don't let you.
and you, you, you: you are all over me. what can I do?
I let myself sink. there is no exit. there is only you, closing over me. there is no up or down. no matter where I go, there you are. you are in everything. you are a part of me.
I dream of the day that I become part of you again.
I dream that it will come.
and I worry that, like so many other dreams, it will never be true.
I am learning patience. right?
I want to learn to wait.
I want to wait for you.
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