oh analytic advice, how useless you can be when no one's listening

I feel sad for Shiny. he has a lifetime of emotional repression to work through. he'll never find anyone else like me. he may never find anyone else, period. no one good, at least, if he isn't willing to deal with his shit. maybe someday he'll settle for someone out of loneliness. but I can't picture him acknowledging his loneliness enough to want to relieve it. first he'd have to understand what he is.
hung out with his roommate today. he says he rarely sees shiny, which is interesting, since shiny rarely leaves the apartment. he spends hours and hours in his room, alone. doing what? I don't know. he probably doesn't know either.
he told me he's missed work. that he can't read this because he's too sad. well, no wonder. he has no friends.
"people like him," I said. "it's self-imposed isolation. he doesn't have to be alone. he chooses it." this goes beyond self-reliance, shiny. this is lying to yourself. this is avoiding the simple truth that people need other people.
I don't mean that I want him back. I don't. he's too immature. he has too much that he hasn't dealt with. that doesn't interest me, especially since he doesn't seem particularly motivated to deal with it. he broke up with me to get his life in order and instead has done even worse than before. hopefully he picks himself up soon. I guess he let his walls crumble a little. maybe he should work on tearing them down completely instead of doing what he seems to be doing: building them back up.

and I whisper to myself, "I'm better off without him," and I want to believe it. I do. but the romantic in me wants to keep holding on.
romance always gets me in trouble.

poor shiny.
poor me.