it's just where I'm coming from

familiar sickness in my chest. the silence of a phone call where I refuse to talk. a struggle from his voice, as he strains to fill the gaps. why does he try now? he didn't before.
so shiny calls and I lose it. I lose it. he says "my life feels less dishonest now" and I rail against it. he says "I love you, but I don't feel romantic about you" and I ask "then why'd we have so much sex?" "Because you wanted to." I don't understand this lack of logic he now professes. I can't comprehend his hypocrisy.
why do something unless you want it, too?
there are so many flaws in his words.
"I didn't want to break up with you, because I liked you."
I want you to shut the fuck up.
I want you to make some goddamn sense.
I want your actions to follow your words.

I want to feel ok again.

I want us to be in love.