is it a good sign that I don't even want to write to tell you these things?

I hope you sleep easy tonight now that you've gotten rid of me.
you kept yourself up, didn't eat, made yourself sick and tired. but you didn't tell me.
I hope you can put your life back into its accustomed order now: the one I so blithely disrupted. you can be alone with your computer and books. you can lift weights whenever you want. you have no one to answer to; no calls to make.
now your weekends are free and you can eat how you like. pump protein and take long bike rides. I won't be there to distract you. you're the winner in this situation.
feels like I'm the one with all the loss.
probably because I was the one with the investment.
I was done with dating once I met you.
now I guess I'm done with everyone.

haven't eaten. can't sleep. headaches, stomach aches. you took your affliction and made it mine.

I can't imagine you crying.
I can't imagine you crying over me.

I feel sick.

you've gained everything. me? I lost it all.