I remain

try to hide how broken you are. just do it. just try.
I want to be angry, but I can't. I'm just sad. deeply, deeply sad and let down. heart-broken is the wrong word. heart-sore. sorrowed.
everything is so disappointing.
just sad. not enough words for it. not enough depressed sounds. not enough emptiness. nothing with the right kind of hollowness. nothing so that I can explain this rotten tree trunk space in my chest.
I have to stop myself from talking about him. I'd grown so accustomed to it. "shiny this" and "shiny that" and "shiny and I." future plans, past events, hopes, anecdotes, happiness, excitement.

I don't feel much about anything right now. put on your brave face. put on your game face. don't show anyone how you really feel. don't let anyone know how much it hurts.

purge my world of him.
why does this feel so wrong?