Dreamed about ex-otter last night and felt all the old disappointments. I blocked him on facebook. I don't want the chance to know him. I don't want to feel tempted.
Searched for pictures of Pants again. I hate it when I do that.
Went to California's website. It's a message board. I'd joined 5 years ago, then forgot about it. I don't think it matters. I don't feel much for him anymore. I just hate the way everyone else treated me after he dumped me.
There are still times when memories, sudden pangs, nearly drive me to tears. There are still times that I wonder how things would have been if I'd just stayed. If I was someone else.
No, it doesn't matter.
Melancholy, you used to be my closest friend. We had so much in common. Now I just want you to go away. I want you to leave.
I like the life that I am building for myself. I like that it doesn't involve you.
People say "so I hear you're in love" and I smile and say "yes."
People say I deserve this.
I may finally agree.
He repeats back to me "we're so well suited for each other."
And I miss everything about him in the four days in between.
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