fuckin' cranky

PMSing and I don't give a fuck about anyone. This is the time when ex-otter and I would have the most fights. Close myself off. Didn't call Shiny last night and he didn't even try to get a hold of me. No call or email. Fuck this.
I'm not fair and this isn't fair and I don't want to carry every relationship on my back until I feel the burden and set it down --
only to find it doesn't follow me anyway.
bleh.
I build these situations around me and then get angry when I discover I am trapped.
And my therapist has said in the past -- are you sure you're not just making up reasons?
I am always looking for my escape. No one tries to keep me.
That doesn't make me want to stay.