shiny

Turning inside out, falling in slow-motion. Breathe in. Sigh out. It's like this now.
The day after the night I got over the last person, I met fortune at the train station. This is how it works. Let's be positive.
"You're so cute!" "I know, right?"

I think of Joy and our conversation. "Worrying is just trying to control the future." I don't want to worry. I don't want to be scared to be excited. I want to enjoy this as I have it. And if I never hear from him again, well, at least I had a really great day.
A really great night.
Someone who liked me for my weirdness before he ever touched my body. Someone who watched Silence of the Lambs with me and liked it. Someone who made me come before he even kissed me. And here's the thing about that; I was scared to kiss him because of the past. Because the men I've met that I kiss or fuck just go away. They only see me as one thing. I want more. They don't.
It was so good to have someone initiate contact.
I felt so comfortable in his arms.
I just want it all over again.

I don't want to be scared to write how I feel just because I think it might all go away. This is not an "if, then" situation. There is no bargaining.

It's so hard for me not to just say "I want you."