what, me?

I wait for you. I make this more dramatic than it needs to be. If we weren't brought up on movies and television, would our relationships be more honest? Would you communicate? Would I calm down?
This has always been my problem, right? I get so excited about people that it overwhelms and pushes them away. I want to apologize constantly; but why say sorry for who I am? I cannot be what I am not. Why pretend to be someone else?

I don't know what to do with this. I've said that so many times before. What do I do, what do I do? Be me. Live. Go on. Don't worry. Remember the things in life that are constant. Embrace the known.
I want to relax. I don't know how. I want to be patient. I don't know how. I am riding solo on this roller coaster and there's no one to put on the brakes.
I don't know how to stop.
And I can't find anyone who will ride with me.