I resent your beauty

I saw ex-otter's ex today. She asked if I thought deafgirl had sabotaged my relationship with him. "Yes, but he can't admit it." I am always amazed by how non-committal his friends are. I think that is a trait he seeks out in people. I think I am unable to do that.

I am tired today. Tired of holding onto this anger. I don't know how to let it go. I want to go to sleep and wake up with no feeling toward him. I want to wake up and be ok with where my life is currently.

"We are part of the 'no one will ever love us' club," I said of my roommate and myself. The more time that passes, the more certain I am that I will never find anyone who can deal with me long-term. I realize this could be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Still, I miss security. I miss belonging.

Match these phrases with these names: (some will be used more than once; some will have more than one answer)
steel. ex-otter. me. rare. buttercup. brit. vew. ex-husband.
"We fit so well together."
"Pinky swear."
"I'm not sure if I'll ever love you."
"I think of you as a potential partner."
"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"I've never felt this way about anyone before."
"I'd love to see you."
"This isn't working."
"Our worlds just don't mesh."
"You aren't the person I thought you were."
"When I said I love you, I meant that I love things about you, not that I love you."
"You have a perfect pussy."
"Your body is perfect."
"You've killed my spontaneity."
"I love you."
"I will never stop loving you."
"I will love you forever."
"There will always be a place in my heart for you."
"If you ever need anything, I will be there."
"I want to keep you in my life."
"I am afraid of losing you."
"I can't talk to you for a while."
"I need some space for a while."
"You're scaring me."
"I can't tell how you'll react to anything."
"We aren't right for each other."
"I never wanted this."
"I don't hate you. I'd have to love you to hate you."

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.