dead fantasies

I still think about him when I masturbate, and I wish that wasn't the case. I loved the noises he would make and the way he felt inside of me. I liked the way he'd push my face into the pillow and hold the back of my neck. his voice would sound thick when I'd taunt him with my ass. he couldn't look at it when he was fucking me or he'd come. he loved to fuck me from behind. I loved it too.
I still think about him pulling out and coming on my chest, or my stomach, or my back. the noise he'd make. the warmth, sliding on my skin. the sense of urgency. no, I can't do anything sexual without wanting him. how long will it take for that to go away? can I find anyone else to dominate me in the same way? can I find someone who knows just where on my neck to bite?
I think so, yeah, I can teach someone else.
but oh, I miss those muscled thighs. those tiny pecs. his goddamn beautiful hands. I haven't seen a dick as nice as his since he left me. I know I'll find another one to match and overcome it. I just want to find it now.
since it's clear he's not coming back.